


The Things We Can’t Forget

by gayandalwayssufferinglmao



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam can’t get Shiro out of his head, All Adam wants is to forget about Shiro, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Adam, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, NSFW, One Night Stands, Past Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Praise Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:48:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23773351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayandalwayssufferinglmao/pseuds/gayandalwayssufferinglmao
Summary: Life is one big pain in the ass, and Adam could gladly agree upon that statement. With someone’s name still engraved into his mind, the male goes to a bar to try and drown out his emotions with alcohol. Little did he know he would get more than he bargained for.Aka Adam is still grieving a month later after Shiro’s supposed “death”. In an attempt to get him off his mind, he falls into bad habits... One of which just happens to be a one night stand.
Relationships: Adam (Voltron) x OC, Adam/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	The Things We Can’t Forget

“May I have a beer, please...?” 

The question was the beginning of a wild night for Adam. As he sat on the other side of the counter, eyes glued to the bartender in front of him, he was very unaware of the events that would take place that night. 

Adam was no stranger to the environment he was in. For the past month he had stopped by to give his favorite bar, the Mayberry, a little visit. Everyone who worked there recognized and knew his name like the back of his hand. At this point in his life, he’d be surprised if someone there didn’t know who he was. 

“Sure thing, Adam. Don’t go too crazy on the alcohol again.” The bartender solemnly replied. He took one of the glasses available and began to wipe it down with a cloth. Adam’s eyes watched the bartender work; Almost as if he were entranced by the other male’s movements. 

“Mm...Can’t make any promises on that one.” There was a heavy silence that filled the air thereafter; Adam knew that what he said had only upset the bartender in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly interrupted before a word could slip past his chapped lips. 

“You said you would try to get better, Adam. You can’t keep using alcohol to try and cope with *his* death.” Their eyes locked for a split second, and Adam’s heart sunk to his chest. He didn’t want to deal with this shit right now; Not when his primary reason for arriving at the bar was to forget about the aforementioned male. 

“Don’t you dare bring him up. You know how sensitive I am to that topic-“ He spat out in defense, but judging by the facial expression on the bartender’s face, he wasn’t having any of Adam’s bullshit. 

“That is still no excuse to abuse your liver. Everyday you’ve been drinking until you black out. It’s unhealthy, and you damn well know it more than anybody else in this room. There are other ways to cope, Adam, you’re just refusing to accept i-“ 

“I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING, OKAY? Fuck! Just stop talking about this fucking subject, Curtis! You’re not in control of my life, OR my decisions. If I decide to harm my body, then that’s my choice; NOT something YOU can decide to change.” 

Silence filled the air for the second time that night. Adam could feel it’s hands wrapping around his throat. The eyes of those within the bar (that had stopped talking after his commotion) were burning into his back. It almost felt as if a wall of shame came crashing down onto his body. 

“...’m sorry.” Was the only thing Adam managed to force out of his throat. He couldn’t even look the bartender in his eyes. He was sure if he tried, he’d only make himself feel more guilty than before. 

“...Its not your fault. I pushed past a boundary you were sensitive about. I should be the one apologizing.” Curtis responded softly, taking a can of beer and pouring it into the glass below him. “I’m sure Shiro would’ve loved to be here with you.” He said.

Adam’s breath caught in his throat. 

Shiro. 

Takashi Shirogane. 

One of the best pilots in the Garrison, as well as Adam’s ex-fiancé. He had been announced dead a month ago, and ever since then, there hasn’t been a moment in Adam’s life where his mind wasn’t thinking about him. It was almost as if the memory was a goddamn leech sticking to the base of his skin. No matter how hard he tried to forget, no matter how fucking hard he tried to escape the nightmare, it only came back to wrap its hands around his heart.

It was persistent; Always wanting to be in his mind no matter where he was or what he was doing. Adam had grown sick of it. He despised looking back at the past to remember the face of someone he once loved. While those types of memories often brought happiness and joy, it only served as a constant reminder of one of the biggest mistakes Adam had ever made in his life:

Letting Takashi, his Takashi, go. 

Sometimes he wondered what he could’ve done better; How he could’ve prevented his ex from going on the “Keberos mission”. Almost everyone within the Garrison had moved on from Shiro’s supposed death...But Adam happened to be the only one glued in place. 

His thoughts, his memories, and his constant habit of blaming himself for everything made it hard for Adam to move on. He loved Takashi more than anyone else in the building. He knew him like the back of his hand. He was his first love, his first kiss, his first for everything romantic. To loose someone as important as him? It certainly took a toll on Adam’s mental health. 

“Are you done bringing him up now?” Adam asked hastily after a few minutes of silence, body rested comfortably against the stool he sat on. He didn’t get a reply from Curtis, but considering he shut up long ago, Adam came to the conclusion that that was his way of saying yes. 

“Ah....do you mind if I take a seat here?” An unknown voice politely asked behind Adam. The young male turned his head to make direct eye contact with the stranger, seeing that he was pointing to the seat next to him. 

“Sure. I really don’t care.” Adam responded, which seemed to make the stranger smile. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Curtis sliding the glass of beer over to him. Adam caught it before it could fall and gestured a thank you with his hand.

“So...” The stranger began. He rested comfortably on the seat next to him....A little too comfortably, Adam noticed. 

“...What’s got ya stayin’ in the bar this late at night?” Was his question. Despite the innocence the stranger showed, Adam had a sneaking suspicion he took the seat next to him for one reason; To see if he was down for sex. The stranger was just making his motives painfully obvious, and to top it off, Adam has seen people do it in bars before. He certainly was not dumbfounded. 

“Well....nothing much, really. Just trying to get someone out of my mind, that’s all.” He trailed his finger around the lip of the cup, bringing it to his lips before the bitter liquid made its way down his throat. It didn’t taste good, but Adam only drank it for the satisfaction of forgetting about his ex. 

“Ah...I see. Been there, done that.” It was a simple answer, but one that was enough to make Adam chuckle. An amused look quickly spread across his face. All of his attention was suddenly focused on the stranger before him. 

“What’s your name?” Adam asked. It was a plain question, but hey, if this man came into the bar just so he could get laid, Adam might as well get to know him better. 

“Juno, and yours?” Juno gave Adam a very suggestive look. For some reason, it made Adam choke on his words. He assumed he only reacted the way he did because of the alcohol starting to settle in, despite the fact he only took two sips out of his beer glass. 

“A..Adam” 

“What a nice name.” 

Fuck, Adam has only known this man for a minute and a half, but for some reason it already felt like Juno had him wrapped around his finger. Is this how people feel when they’re caught in a flirtatious situation? If Adam was being honest, he didn’t have an answer for that question. 

“Y’know...” Juno began, watching as Adam nervously took another sip of the beer he paid for. An intrigued smirk left his lips. 

“...I can always...help get rid of any stress that’s bothering you~” Adam raised an eyebrow out of curiosity. Get rid of his stress through sex? If he were being honest, the idea sounded somewhat enticing. For someone who has done nothing but suffer for the past month, being able to get all of his emotions out through a quick orgasm felt like something Adam was down for...

And yet, Adam had a feeling that agreeing to such a lewd offer would only make things worse on his life. He’s got a drug addiction and an alcohol addiction. To adapt to some sort of sex addiction, too? Adam would be living in one hell of a painful life. 

But what else did he have left to loose? The only person he cared about fucked off into space and died. His mental state is all screwed over, and because of it people purposely try to avoid or ignore his existence. At this point, it was safe to say no one would care if he made another terrible decision. 

“Yknow what..?” Adam began, hand gripping the counter so tightly his knuckles turned white. 

“Fuck it. I’m down.” Juno’s grin seemed to widen. He got the exact answer he had been hoping for. 

“Perfect...my place or yours?” Juno hummed. His hand slid across Adam’s thigh in a way that made him sharply inhale. 

“Y-your place....But let me finish my beer first.” 

* * *

The two men could barely contain the overwhelming need they felt when they arrived at Juno’s apartment, unable to make it to the bedroom without crashing their lips together in a heated make out session. Lust was the only thing driving their thoughts and emotions, making them crave for each other in ways unfathomable to the public eye. 

Needless to say, Adam craved Juno; He craved him so greatly that he made no attempts to fight when Juno pinned him up against the wall of his living room, hands roughly gripping at his waist. He had surrendered into the pleasure; Which, if he had still been in the right state of mind, wouldn’t have happened in the span of his life....It’s funny how loosing someone important to you can fuck you up in ways unimaginable. 

“You’re getting a bit worked up, aren’t you?” Came Juno’s breathless response. Adam bucked his hips up against the other male, causing him to let out a low groan.

“J-just shut up and fuck me.” Adam whispered. Judging by the look in Juno’s eyes, those few words seemed to have pushed him into overdrive. 

Teeth and lips collided. Their hips began to grind against one another, desperate to obtain the tiniest bits of pleasure to their groins. It’s been awhile since Adam has had the satisfaction of exposing his body in a sexual environment. The feeling of Juno’s hands sliding up his smooth caramel skin, breath hot and tingly against his neck as he pressed kisses further down his body, gave Adam a sensation he wanted but never knew he needed.

“Fuck..” He whimpered under his breath, hand gripping tightly at Juno’s hair. It felt as if he were completely enveloped in the other male’s arms. There wasn’t a single area of his body that wasn’t being sexually touched by the man in front of him. 

“Just relax, baby~ Take it all in~ Daddy’s gonna take good care of you~” Juno whispered seductively into Adam’s left ear, distracting him completely from the hand that was creeping into his underwear. Of course, it didn’t take long to notice where Juno’s hand was going, but by the time he glanced down, he could already feel the male’s hand brush against the tip of his member. 

A shuddered gasp left his lips. Juno was teasing him; Trying to get him to beg to be fucked until his body couldn’t handle it no more...and honestly? Adam wouldn’t deny it when he said he was already on the brink of doing just what he wanted. 

“I think it’s safe to say these clothes are in the way, don’t you think?” Juno started, pulling his hand away from Adam’s pants. He could see the shit-eating grin that rested on the dominant male’s face. Adam growled. 

Asshole. 

“Quit teasing me. I only came here so I could release all my stress, not play some sort of teasing game.” Adam muttered. He only got a small laugh in response. 

“Well, darling, I guess you’d better start taking your clothes off then, isn’t that right?” God, he so badly wanted to just grab Juno by the throat and ride him until all the anger he had was gone, but knowing he was gonna get rammed into either way, he willingly followed Juno’s command. 

“Oh, your body is a pretty little thing, ain’t it?” Juno oddly complimented. Adam’s clothes had been tossed to the floor (including his underwear), exposing every part of his body to the one who wanted to fuck him. For some odd reason a sense of vulnerability washed over him. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around himself to hide what he had exposed. Juno noticed this, and used a hand to pin both of his arms up against the wall. 

“Don’t try to hide yourself. You’re perfect~” He purred. 

You’re perfect. 

You’re...perfect. 

The words repeatedly rung in Adam’s head like a melody. They had been the exact words Takashi told him when they shared their first time together. He could remember the way his hands caressed his body; The way he thrusted into Adam so gently and showered him in nothing but praise. Fuck. 

He was supposed to forget. Forget him. Forget Takashi; Not to remember. 

It wasn’t until the sound of a belt hitting the floor snapped Adam back into reality. He glanced up and noticed that Juno had already taken all of his clothes off while he had gotten distracted.

Truthfully, Adam was intimidated. 

Juno was a big guy, both in width and length. It seemed he was around the same size as Shiro, if not a little bigger. 

“If you’re wondering, I got some lube and condoms in my room, so you don’t need to let yourself worry about those items.” Juno spoke, which caused Adam to pry his eyes away from his rather...impressive size. 

“Okay....that’s a relief.” He said. Juno chuckled in response. 

“Let’s get the fun started.” 

With a hand held out towards Adam, the two of them quietly made their way into Juno’s bedroom.

Adam made sure he didn’t look back.

* * *

The events that took place within the room became nothing more than a blur for Adam. As he was now laying on his back, legs spread wide open in anticipation, he began to wonder how time flew by so quickly. 

Juno was on top of him now, one of his hands keeping Adam pinned to the bed beneath him. His free hand had been lubed up, and was teasingly tracing the rim of Adam’s entrance. Both of their hearts were beating at an incredibly fast pace. 

“Please....Juno, please.” Adam begged softly, his hips grinding down on thin air. Juno had dragged his teasing out for long enough, leaving Adam a writhing mess on the sheets. 

“Ha...okay puppy. You deserve it.” Juno replied, and began to push his finger inside of Adam’s tight hole. A small hiss of pain soon filled the quiet bedroom they were in. 

While Adam did find relief in finally having something shoved inside of his body, he also seemed to forget just how much prepping sucked. It was helpful, that was a fact, but the way it felt never seemed to please Adam the way he wanted it too. He always strived to have something big inside of him, so trying to get off on a pair of fingers never worked. 

Juno’s hand came down to caress Adam’s hip, tracing small circles along the skin with his thumb. His finger—the one he inserted—began to thrust into the male at an extremely slow pace. All he could do was watch Adam’s facial expressions for any possible signs of pain or discomfort. He showed none. 

“You done this before?” Juno asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. By then a second finger had slipped inside of Adam, stretching his walls out to get him ready for the main event. 

“Mmh...yeah, but I haven’t in a long time, honestly.” Came Adam’s truthful reply. Ever since Shiro developed the disease to his muscular tissue, Adam dropped everything he cared about to focus on his one and only. He constantly provided love and affection to Shiro, and while he never got any in return, Adam never bothered to ask Shiro about it. He remembered how stressed he was; How afraid he was of dying. 

Adam understood his pain. But his care is what cost him his relationship...and possibly even Shiro’s death. (At least, that’s what Adam told himself) 

“Alright...that’s good to know, at least.” Juno hummed, his third finger making it’s way into his body. By then Adam started to pant, craving into the uncomfortable feeling it was receiving. He could feel the way his entrance loosened up, and although it wasn’t the best feeling in the world, it brought Adam a sense of comfort...In a weird way. 

“You feel ready yet, precious?” Juno whispered, trailing gentle kisses down Adam’s neck as his hand continued to work on his ass. A small nod was all Adam could give in response.

Juno slowly pulled his slicked fingers out of Adam’s hole, taking his member and guiding it to his entrance. Adam shivered in excitement when he realized what was coming next. 

Before the two of them started prepping, Juno had slid some lube and a condom over himself just to make the process between them go by a lot faster. Adam appreciated the effort, despite the fact it took Juno an awfully long time just to slide that stupid condom on. 

“Okay...you ready baby?” Juno nipped at the skin of Adam’s neck, pulling him back to reality for what felt like the 5th time that night. 

“Please...I want it inside of me.” That seemed to be enough confirmation for Juno. Before another word slipped out of Adam’s lips, the other male began to push his length inside of Adam’s entrance. 

Almost immediately, a soft whimper left his lips. Juno barely even slid in, and yet, he could already tell it was a whole lot bigger than the fingers he used earlier.

Hands met Adam’s waist. Hips rocked forward in gentle motions until the rest of Juno’s length was fully inside of Adam.

Adam would’ve be lying if he said he hadn’t felt full. Juno was way bigger than Adam thought. However, he didn’t let that stop him from wanting to get fucked. The amount of pleasure he could receive just from a size this big? It was too good not to pass down. 

Whilst it was still a little painful at first, the feeling gradually edged away as Adam got some time to adjust. Any signs of pain that were shown on his face were no longer there. He was ready; Ready to release all the pain he had been holding for an entire month. 

Adam could’ve used his voice to signal Juno that he was prepared, but to Adam that seemed a bit lame. Instead he rocked his hips as best as he could against his member, moaning at the tiniest bits of pleasure than ran up his spine. Juno was thankfully quick to take the hint. 

With nails digging roughly into Adam’s skin, body wide and on display for Juno to do whatever he pleased, the male began to move his hips at a moderate pace. Both were unable to hold back a moan as the first actual wave of pleasure crashed onto their bodies. 

The fun barely even began, and already Adam had to bury his face in Juno’s bedsheets to quiet all of the moans that wanted to leave his lips. He almost forgot entirely how good it felt to have someone inside of him; To have their length slide in and out of him in ways he couldn’t describe. He missed this. He missed having affection more than anything in his life. If the only way he could get love is through one night stands? So be it. Adam was tired of loosing the one type of contact he desired most. 

“...So pretty when you take my dick in like that~” Juno seductively whispered into the silence of the room. Adam’s muffled moans and whimpers could be faintly heard through the blankets he was hiding them in. Their hips rocked together in a rhythmic pattern, creating a friction neither wanted to loose. 

“Adam....look at me~” 

Adam whined. He didn’t want Juno to see how wrecked he looked. His face was flushed; Legs trembling from the pleasure it took in. Adam was a wreck, and he was too embarrassed to show it. 

Yet, his refusal to do as commanded didn’t seem to stop Juno. A hand slipped its way into Adam’s hair, gripping at the strands that were placed on his sensitive scalp. All Adam could do was moan as his hair was tugged on, and he was forced to look at the person dominating him. 

Adam quickly tensed up. 

He didn’t see Juno looking at him with that dumbass smirk of his. Instead, he saw Takashi; The one who left him. The one who died. He was fucking him oh so gently, a smile like the sun planted on his lips. 

“You’ll be alright. I got you.” He could hear him whisper. 

No. 

No no no. This was his mind playing tricks on him. It wasn’t real; Takashi wasn’t here. He was gone, body lost somewhere in the depths of space. 

And yet, he couldn’t look away. His eyes were locked onto the male in front of him; Locked onto the way his silver eyes gazed at his body as if he were the most prettiest thing he’s laid eyes on. 

Adam didn’t know what to say. It was as if the sight before him made him forget about everything that wanted to slip past his lips. 

Tears had begun to fill up in his eyes. With a shaky hand, he caressed his lover’s cheek, watching as Takashi placed his hand on top of his. 

“You’re doing well baby, you’re doing so well..” Shiro praised, and as his thrusts picked up in speed and hit the bundle of nerves that’d make anyone go crazy, all Adam could do was arch his back and cry out in pleasure. 

This wasn’t reality. Adam knew it wasn’t reality. He was smart enough to differentiate dreams from the actual world. But his mind couldn’t stop thinking about him; Couldn’t stop seeing him. The hands that rested on his hips? Takashi. The lips that’d occasionally trace down his body to nip at his skin? Takashi. It was all Takashi, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get him out of his mind. 

“Get out of my head” Adam told himself. He let his eyes flutter shut, trying to focus only on the way Taka- Juno’s member slid in and out of him at rapid speeds.

“Baby, please look at me...” His voice still spoke to him, so gentle. So loving. Adam tossed his head to the side and tried to ignore his voice. He could feel his body tense up as he got closer to his orgasm. 

“Leave me alone. You’re not real.”

“Adam...please.” It sounded wounded, as if Takashi was trying to tell Adam something important. His voice only made the tears in Adam’s eyes roll down his cheeks.

“Stop it. You’re not Takashi. You’re not Takashi. You’re not-“ 

“I’m sorry.” 

The words stung; Stung his heart so bad it felt as if someone smacked him in the face. There were so many things he wanted to say in that moment; So many words he had to share. 

But his climax eventually washed over him in intense waves, making him choke on his words and forget about the things he wanted to share. 

He was back in reality. Takashi—or what his brain thought was Takashi—was gone. Vanished into thin air. And although the the sexual tension and stress faded away, Adam couldn’t help but to cry. 

He didn’t care if Juno saw. He wouldn’t have cared if everyone in the Garrison had been there to witness it, anyways. He was supposed to feel better; Supposed to be able to get rid of the things that were bothering him. But it only felt like he had finished feeling worse than before. 

Perhaps forgetting Shiro was something his mind wouldn’t get over. Perhaps the little fragments left in his brain would continue to haunt Adam until he dies. Forgetting about Shiro was a hopeless task, and as he laid there, riding the last bits of his orgasm out with Juno, Adam began to realize just how factual that was. 

He still loved Takashi. He loved him so much that to let him go felt like the end of the world for Adam. 

Takashi was his everything. He was his support beam in life. He was what prevented him from making bad choices so early on. 

Perhaps Adam will never let go of him. Perhaps the memories will continue to haunt his mind for the rest of his life. 

No matter the case, Adam was sure of one thing. 

He loved Takashi, and no matter who he loves in the future, no matter who he marries, he will always love him.

**Author's Note:**

> Blegh, I hate this. But I hope y’all enjoyed reading it! Tell me what you think in the comments below :^).


End file.
